Archive-name: Humour/intlude2.txt Archive-author: Archive-title: Sexual Interludes - Part 2 85. Take Five -- The Tension easer. Take a quick tension break -- five minutes from start to finish. It's a basic way to say "I always have time for your love." 86. Chains of Love -- This will tickle her fancy! Tonight you will transport your lady to new heights. So that you will be in complete control of her responses, you must bind her... with satin chains. Undress her and use satin ribbons to tie her wrists and ankles to the bedposts or frame. She should be in a spread-eagled position. Begin by kissing and tonguing her from head to toe. Linger for a while at each nipple. Caress her entire body, front and back, with a peacock or ostrich feather. Perform cunnilingus, flicking her clitoris lightly with your tongue while you brush her breasts with the feather. When she nears orgasm, move away from the center of her excitement to keep her hanging on the edge. Vary your activities among kissing, tonguing, and brushing with the feather. Don't give her an orgasm for at least an hour -- then give her several orally. After each one,kiss and caress her body as you build to the next one. Finally, untie her legs and take her as you wish. Afterwards, untie her wrists and hold her in your arms. 87. Sunday Brunch -- Guess who's coming for breakfast? Make this morning very special for him... serve your lover breakfast in bed. Let him sleep while you prepare breakfast; then wake him with a kiss and champagne. When he finishes breakfast, offer yourself as dessert. 88. The Nooner -- A nooner to end all nooners! Serve him a topless lunch. Call him at work and ask him to meet you at home for lunch. Light candles and close drapes to make the dining area as dark and sexy as possible. Fix a simple lunch. When he arrives, greet him clad only in panties. Seat him at the table set with your best linen and china. Serve him lunch. While he eats, put on music. Climb onto a table and dance for him. After lunch... 89. Bon 'Apetit -- Undress for dinner, please. Anyone who has seen the movie Tom Jones knows how sexy food can be. But you can carry it one step further with an indoor picnic! Prepare a picnic of cold finger foods (boiled shrimp, fried chicken, asparagus, cheese, fruit, etc.) and your favorite beverage. Spread a blanket on the floor and arrange the food on the blanket. Undress for dinner. As you eat, keep conversation to a minimum. Let you eyes do the talking. Caress your food with your lips and tongue, as if it were your lover. Afterwards, race each other to the bedroom. 90. Word Power -- It pays to increase yours! Your man would like to watch you masturbate, so make it extra erotic for him. Put on a loose silky robe and get the sexiest books you have (Delta of Venus, for example, or a Forum magazine). Sit in a soft armchair opposite him. Read aloud the erotic passages from the book or magazine. As you read, part your robe to reveal your legs and pubic area. Throw one leg across the arm of the chair and touch yourself as the words of the book arouse you. Pretend that you are alone, or that a stranger is watching you from across the way. Set your own pace, but let the words arouse your excitement. Remember that your voice and your actions are equally exciting to him! When you are sufficiently aroused, give yourself over completely to orgasm. Then take care of him. 91. Let Me Entertain You -- Let me make you mine. Approach your lover while he is reading or watching TV. Touch the inside of his ear lightly, outlining it with your finger. Now trace the outline with your tongue and flick it gently just above the earlobe. Let your finger return to trace that ear while your tongue moves to his other ear. Now you have his full attention! Softly kiss his eyelids, his cheeks,then his lips while you caress his neck and shoulders. Now step away from him and entice him with a slow, sensuous strip tease. No fast or fancy movements... just remove each garment slowly and caress your body as you bare it for him. Do it to music if you like. Once you are naked, spend a minute or two touching yourself in your special places. Go to him now and begin to remove his clothes. Caress his body with your fingers or lips as you remove each piece of clothing. Enjoy each other fully, sensuously, without haste. 92. Midnight Romeo -- Auto suggestion helps here! One of the greatest turn-ons to many women is the thought of creating uncontrollable desire in their man. The next time you wake up in the middle of the night with an erection, enter her without any preliminaries. (You may need a lubricant as she will not have had a chance to create her own.) As you begin to move, she will wake up to find you in her. This should be a short, sweet encounter, not a sexual marathon, and the time not to try it is when she has an early morning meeting! P.S. Some people can wake themselves up at a specific time by autosuggestion just before going to sleep! 93. King of the Hill -- Slave Driver! You are master, she is slave. She will obey your every sexual whim. She is eager to please her master. Speak to her... and enjoy! Instructions to her: Submit! 94. Queen Bee -- Your wish is his command! Tonight he is your adoring slave. Your wish is his command. But you must command. Tell him what you want, how you want it, when you want it. Exercise your power! Instructions to him: Do exactly what she says, slave! 95. Bare Essence -- A loaf of bread, a jug of wine... Imagine the touch of a summer breeze on your bare skin as you prepare your favorite picnic feast for this Interlude. Drive to a secluded picnic spot in the woods or at the beach. Spread a soft blanket on the ground and take off all your clothes. (It is secluded, isn't it?) Let the sun's rays and the warm breeze caress your skin. Eat and drink and touch each other. The forbidden atmosphere and the possibility of discovery should create an air of intense excitement. Make love if you dare, but listen for footsteps! If the temperature is below 72 degrees, better choose another Interlude! 96. The Sensuous Woman -- Woman, prepare to be ravaged! Tell your lover you are going to give him the time of his life tonight and that you must place him in bondage so that he can fully enjoy it. Bind his ankles and wrists with velvet ropes and tie a gag over his mouth (Use a knotted white handkerchief.) Prop his head with pillows so that he is in a half-sitting position. Now, slowly strip for him and start your one-woman show. Don't be shy -- men love to watch their ladies be deliberately sexy! Move around the room for him slowly. Touch your breasts, your nipples, and your thighs. Give him a rear view as you caress the crease where your buttocks join your thighs. Rub your hand between your legs to get the scent of your love juices, then press that hand against his face. Now place yourself in a comfortable position so that he can see you begin to masturbate. His blood should reach the boiling point as he helplessly watches you make love to yourself. Give yourself over to orgasm after orgasm. Finally, untie him and prepare to be ravaged! 97. Passive Perfect -- He doesn't have to lift a finger! Your lover is tired tonight. He has little interest in active sex... but he'd still like it! This is your opportunity to give. Send him to take a shower. While he is showering, heat body oil for an oil rubdown. When he is in bed, start with his shoulders and back, kneading his muscles firmly with your oiled hands. Concentrate most of your attention here to ease away his tiredness. Turn him over and begin on his arms and chest. Work your way down his body to concentrate on handwork with his penis. The oil lubricates it so that it is slippery and your hand moves quickly and easily. Bring him to orgasm this way. Afterwards, cleanse him with a warm, wet cloth, and let him drift off to sleep. 98. Patty-Cake, Patty-Cake -- Beat it! During foreplay, lightly pat your lady between the legs directly on the vagina with the flat palm of your hand. Increase the tempo and pressure slightly if it seems to turn her on. 99. The Ultimate Experience -- Your love-life will never be the same! Congratulations! You have found the most secret, the most sought after Interlude of all time... The Ultimate Experience. And that it is. After this Interlude, your love life may never again be the same! The Ultimate Experience takes place over FOUR nights! It calls for patience and restraint -- and a great deal of both! But the reward can be one of the greatest sexual experiences of your life. You are going to recreate your "very first time". You are going to build up to a libido-shattering crescendo with all of the excitement of that very first time, BUT with all the experience that you currently have. The closer you follow each night's instructions, the more gratifying the experience will be! Night 1: Remember when kissing was all that was allowed? That's all you can do tonight. Go out on a date or spend the evening at home. It doesn't matter. But at the end of the evening, just kiss each other. In the car, on the sofa, anywhere but on the bed. Stay fully clothed and spend an hour or more just kissing. Explore all the nuances of kissing, but don't touch, not even through your clothes! And DON'T make love tonight. Make a date for tomorrow night and sleep in separate beds tonight! Night 2: Tonight you've graduated to petting! After your date, repeat the kissing of last night, but now you can touch each other's bodies through and under your clothes -- but DON'T get undressed! You can touch each other in every wonderful place -- BUT DON'T GET UNDRESSED AND DON'T MAKE LOVE! At the end of the evening, make a date for tomorrow night -- and, yes, sleep in separate beds tonight! Night 3: Tonight you'll go further than last night... but not all the way! After your date, repeat the activities of Night 1 and Night 2. Spend a lot of time kissing before you get to petting! And spend a lot of time petting before you UNDRESS each other! Yes, tonight you will undress each other and explore each other's bodies to your heart's content... but DON'T have intercourse and don't give each other an orgasm! At the end of the evening, make a date for tomorrow night! It's your choice whether you dare sleep together in your excited condition! It's probably best that you sleep in separate beds one more night! Night 4: This is the night you've been waiting for! The night you can finally consummate your love for each other! After your date (surely you can wait till after your date!), repeat the activities of Night 1, 2 and 3 -- s l o w l y! Take your time as you explore every inch of each other's bodies with your lips, hands, and tongue. Make it last as long as you can and then release all the wonderful sexual tension that has built up over the past three nights! Make mad, passionate love all night long... and go to sleep wrapped in each other's arms -- sated, happy, and completely satisfied! The Ultimate Experience! 100. Garter-Starter -- This could be the start of something big! The next time you go out to a public affair, dress in a special way for your man. Wear a garterbelt and stockings (not pantyhose) under your dress. While you're dressing keep this a secret from your mate, but just before you go out let him "accidentally" glimpse your garters. Be sure that you must be somewhere at a certain time or he may attack you on the spot! The objective is to tantalize him with the thought of you throughout the evening. When you arrive home (early, perhaps?) you won't need any further suggestions for an Interlude. 101. A Little Night-Music -- For the nature lover in you. Take advantage of a warm summer night. A lawn chair, a pool float, a hammock or a blanket on the grass... can be a perfect bed for your love tonight. It's dark... no one can see you. Enjoy the night's music as you come together in the dark. (If it's the dead of winter, select another Interlude!) 102. The book of Love! -- Straight from the heart. Give your man a book of love. Buy a notebook or a bound book with blank pages. Write in it your thoughts about him, your fantasies, your feelings about an experience you've shared. Quote lines of poetry that are especially meaningful. Write a poem of your own! Don't think you have to be a published writer to do this. Grammar, punctuation, spelling are not important. Honesty is. Be as creative as you like -- include drawings or photographs if appropriate. Give the gift to your lover on a special occasion... he will treasure it always. 103. Satin Dreams -- This will turn you into dream lovers. Sexy undies and satin sheets can really get you going! Buy satin sheets and cases. Buy yourself the sexiest lingerie you can find. Buy him silky shorts and a silk or satin robe. Have his presents wrapped. Before he arrives, make the bed with the satin sheets. Greet him at the door in the new outfit. Give him his gifts and tell him to put them on while you fix drinks. Relax for a time over drinks. Tell him to wait for you in bed so he can discover the sheets! Join him and start the foreplay. You take the lead. Be creative and seductive. Afterwards, have champagne in bed. 104. Slap Happy -- Fuel the flames of love. During passionate lovemaking, a bit of mock force or "abuse" can fuel the flames and drive both partners to higher levels of ecstasy. Your lover has indicated that he would enjoy a bit of "abuse" tonight, so... during intercourse when he nears orgasm, sharply slap his buttocks with the palm of your hand until he climaxes. 105. The Hidden Zone -- Find it! You may have overlooked one of your lover's most erogenous zones: the back of his neck and hair. During foreplay, concentrate on this area. Kiss the back of his neck just where the hair starts to grow. Moisten it with your tongue, then blow on it softly. Run your fingers through his hair next to the scalp, gently massaging the scalp with your fingertips. Continue this at length; then move on to other foreplay, then to intercourse. Throughout, however, keep your fingers moving through his hair in this special erotic place. 106. My way -- He's the boss! Create your own interlude! Give your mate the instructions and tell her the computer gave them to you. 107. The Light Touch -- Sensuous Sensations are in store! Treat your lover to an erotic massage -- a feather-light touch all over the body with your fingertips. Start on your lover's back, neck and shoulders and continue down the body with your light, light touch. The fingers should really not touch the skin at all but the hair on the skin. Now do the other side, starting with the face and moving over the entire body. Remember, keep it light. Finally, return to the genital area and switch to mouthwork. Keep it teasing and gentle until passion dictates otherwise. 108. Shutter Bug -- Smile for the birdy! Photograph your lady in all her many moods. Have her dress up for you in her special sexy clothes: lingerie, garterbelt and stockings, hat, anything that takes your fancy. Pose her in various seductive ways. (Use your erotic photo collection for suggestions.) Before each photograph kiss her, touch her, indulge in a little foreplay -- if you want her to look sexy, make her feel sexy! Look at your array of her photos together, and let them inspire you to erotic heights. 119. Champagne Cocktail -- Bring the bubbly Chill a bottle of champagne and suggest that your lady take a long, leisurely bubble bath. After she is in the tub, undress and take the champagne and glasses to the bathroom. Pour champagne over her shoulders... then join her in the tub. Toast her loveliness! Drink, kiss, touch, play, relax in the steamy warmth. Help her from the tub and dry each other with a Turkish towel. Bend her across the vanity, her buttocks toward you and take her from behind while she watches in the bathroom mirror. 110. Lotus Love -- A mystical experience Sex can be a mystical experience. To bring out this aspect, add a little yoga to your love making. Light several candles and turn out the lights. Spread a blanket on the floor or sit on floor pillows. Have your lover sit in a modified lotus position (or Indian-like with ankles crossed). Run fingers lightly over his skin, starting with his face, scalp, neck, and genitals. Make him firmly erect by teasing his manhood with your tongue and lips. Each touch should be light and teasing. Now, straddle him face to face, with your weight on your knees, and guide him into you. As you continue to touch and caress each other, tighten your vaginal muscles around his penis. This should be the only movement in this area. Continue tightening these muscles in a rhythmic way while you kiss and caress each other. Contemplate the spiritual union of your bodies and souls. (With a little practice, you may be able to bring you both to orgasm this way.) 111. Leather Lovers -- Turns you into the wild ones! You'll need several long, soft leather belts. First, wrap a belt around your lover's waist, under his balls, and tie it around his cock. Then wrap a belt around your breasts, so that it cups each one; then tie it behind your neck. Next, wrap a belt around your hips and thighs so that your pussy is outlined in leather. Now, make love. Let the smell and feel of leather add to the pleasures of your bodies. 112. Morning Glow -- Here comes the sun, too! Your interview indicates that all you want tonight is a good-night kiss and sleep. However, come the morning . . . Set the alarm a few minutes early. Then wake each other with kisses. Enjoy each other simply and quickly. The extra adrenaline can make your day! 113. Caveman Caper -- a Sexual symphony! Tonight your lady wants to be dominated in a primitive way. Try a game of bondage... she is bound and helpless while you are the ravager. Just remember to whisper words of love throughout the bondage scene. Tell her to undress and wait for you in bed. Get satin or velvet ribbons to bind and a soft leather belt. Tie each of her wrists and ankles to the bedposts so that she is in a spread-eagled position. Blindfold her with a scarf so that she can't see what you are going to do next. Now, begin a symphony of sexual assault, licking, nibbling, kissing her entire body. As she becomes more and more aroused, tease her by entering her and withdrawing quickly. Tease her mouth with your penis. Flick her very lightly (or harder, if she asks for it) with the belt. The more she struggles, the more you tease. Kiss her lips occasionally and whisper words of love. Finally, untie one leg and retie it to her opposite arm so that her buttocks and genitals are exposed to you. Enter her from this side/back position and "mock-rape" her while lightly flicking her buttocks with the belt. Afterwards, untie her quickly and let her come down to earth in your arms. 114. Love Odyssey -- You'll have time enough for love. Kidnap your man for a trip. Make all the plans in secret. Even pack for him. Find some excuse to get him to the airport, train, or car. Don't tell him anything until the last possible minute. Once you arrive, take the lead in planning your interludes for the trip. 115. Some Enchanted Evening -- Guaranteed to put the romance back in your life! She wants romance. This is your chance to spend time showing your love. 1. Spend time kissing and cuddling her before you get out of bed. 2. Send flowers to her office or home. 3. Call her midday and say I love you. 4. Plan dinner at a nice restaurant that has dancing. 5. Meet for drinks after work. 6. Buy her a small 'special' gift. 7. At dinner give her the gift. Talk about your feelings and plans. Tell her how you feel about her. Ask her to dance and hold her close. 8. After dinner go to your favorite bar for a nightcap. When you get home, make love by candlelight. 116. Blow Job -- Not what you would expect! Give your lover a different kind of "blow-job". Keeping your mouth about two inches above his skin, blow gently all over his body. This is especially effective if you moisten his skin first with your tongue. As an alternative, use your hand-held hair dryer on a low setting. 117. Quick Fix -- A Freebie for him! Sometimes a man wants sex without having to perform or give in return. Sometimes we all do! Tonight your lover feels this way. Satisfy his longing for passivity and don't allow him to reciprocate in any way. Your turn will come! Wait until he has gone to bed, then join him. Don't try to arouse his interest with kisses or foreplay -- that implies reciprocation. Your intent is to give him an orgasm quickly, surely, and swiftly. For a quick erection, go down on him without preliminaries. Press the area between his anus and his testicles. Tease him with your mouth until he grows rock-hard. Then straddle him and ride him, slowly at first, then faster and faster until he comes. Afterwards, kiss him lightly goodnight, and return to your own activities. 118. Bow Tie -- A gift for your lady! Tell your lady you have a gift for her. Then undress and place a cock ring (which you can buy at a sex shop) around your erect cock. Tie a big red bow around your cock. Now, wait for her to discover you in bed. The cock ring should keep you hard for hours while you give her the rest of your gift. 119. Night-Rider -- Climb into the depths of her soul! During intercourse in the missionary position, put your legs on the outside of hers, resting your weight on your arms. Then, bend your knees and move your legs, one at a time, as if you are riding a bicycle. Keep "riding" in slow steady movements as you kiss her passionately. She will feel as if you are climbing deep, deep into her. This has been known to make nonorgasmic women multi-orgasmic! 120. The Flasher -- Surprise! If your lover likes surprises, this should please and tease him. Slip out of the house without his knowing it. Wear a trenchcoat and nothing else. Then ring the front doorbell. When he answers the door, flash him. He'll be caught off guard on two counts: Seeing you at the front door when he thought you were in the house and seeing you naked beneath the coat! The next move is up to you... unless, of course, he takes it from there. 121. Upside-down Cake! -- Starling sensations. Give your lady a different kind of sensation. Take her upside-down, sort of. Sit on a low stool and have your lady straddle you, face-to-face. Then have her lie back until her head is resting on a pillow which you've placed on the floor. Grasp her thighs and move her back and forth on your penis. This can intensify an orgasm. 122. Mash Note -- Live up to your promises. Write your lover a "dirty" letter. Go into graphic detail about the plans you have for the evening. Then plant the letter where you know that he -- and only he -- will see it. Put it in the car on the driver's seat or in his briefcase. You want him to discover it in the morning and to think about it all day long! When he comes home, live up to your promises! 123. French vacation -- Tres' Magnifice! When you're married to or living with someone, sex is always within reach. Which makes us take it for granted. Change that. Create the tension of abstinence, the excitement of anticipation. Deliberately abstain from sex for two weeks. At the end of that period, plan a quiet evening at home and make love all night. The French say it's tres magnifique! 124. Fancy Footwork -- This little piggy went to market! When your lover arrives home from work very tired and tense, treat him to a foot massage. Prepare his favorite drink and tell him to remove his shoes and relax. Prepare a large basin of hot water. Add fragrant bath salts and place your lover's feet in the basin to soak for a few minutes. Get a towel, floor pillow, bar of soap, and body lotion. Seat yourself on the floor pillow at your lover's feet. Wash each foot slowly, lovingly, massaging it gently. Dry his feet and put the basin of water aside. Now take one of his feet in your lap and rub the lotion into it. Massage the instep and sole of the foot deeply. Take his ankle in both your hands and massage it in small, circular motions. Attend to each toe individually. Kiss each foot as you finish and/or suck his toes! Repeat this procedure with the other foot. When you have finished, let your lover take the lead. He may be relaxed enough to fall asleep -- or aroused enough to start a different kind of Interlude. 125. Cowgirl Caper -- Ride 'em Cowgirl! Your lover likes to see you in sexy costumes. Surprise him by appearing in cowboy boots, a cowboy hat, leather vest, and open-crotch panties. Put on your favorite country-western music. Tell him you want to play cowgirl! Undress him (horses don't wear clothes!) and tell him to get on his hands and knees. Then ride him bareback around the room, flicking him lightly with a velvet rope. This is playtime... so let your imagination run wild. Finally, make him lie on his back and ride him to orgasm, still clothed in your boots, vest, and panties. 126. A Point of View -- Bass Ackwards! A different position can be fun and extra sexy. If you haven't tried this one, you're in for a treat. Instructions to her: When your lover is hard, straddle him, facing his feet, and ease him into you. Caress his testicles and enjoy the different sensations as you ride him. Instructions to him: Caress and lightly pinch her buttocks as she rides you. Lubricate a finger and gently insert it in her anus. (be very gentle with this spot.. Enjoy the sensations... and the view. 127. Photoplay -- A picture is worth a thousand words. Do you like erotic photographs? Maybe your lady will too. Buy a Playgirl or gay magazine to go with your Playboy or Penthouse collection. Ask your lady to look at them with you. As you leaf through the pages, point out the photos that most turn you on. Ask her to do the same. It may give you some ideas for the rest of this Interlude. 128. Powder Puff -- Soothing and sensuous. It may have been a long hard day, but a tingling shower will invigorate you. Take one together. Soap each other thoroughly, lovingly. Wash each other's hair. When you have toweled each other off, take turns giving the other a powder rub. Sprinkle baby powder on your lover and lightly smooth it into the skin with a powder puff. Make love on fresh linens. 129. At the Movies -- A preview of coming attractions! Rent an X-rated videotape and invite your lady to watch it with you. Dress in loose robes and settle down to watch the movie. Let the action on the screen unlock your inhibitions this evening. 130. The Look of Love -- Your guess is as good as mine! Light several candles so that the bedroom glows with soft light. Stand nude in front of a full-length mirror and rub oil into each other's skin. Watch the color and texture of your skin in the flickering candlelight. Begin to kiss and touch in earnest now as the passion builds. Continue to watch yourselves in the mirror as you make love. 131. Triple-play -- All bases are covered! During foreplay, give your lady a triple treat. Kiss her deeply, probing her mouth with your tongue. Moisten your finger with saliva or vaginal secretions and insert it gently in her anus while another finger explores her vagina. The sensations for her are extraordinary. 132. Forgotten pleasure -- Rediscover and erogenous zone! You may have overlooked one of your lady's most erogenous zones: the back of her neck and hair. During foreplay, concentrate on this area. Kiss the back of her neck and just where the hair starts to grow. Moisten it with your tongue, then blow on it softly. Run your fingers through the hair next to the scalp gently, massaging the scalp with your fingertips. Continue this at length, then move on to other foreplay, then to intercourse. Throughout, however, keep your fingers moving through her hair in this special erotic place. 133. Rendezvous' for Lovers -- You're worth it! Treat your lady to a rendezvous at a hotel this weekend. Make reservations at one of your city's best hotels. (Many have special weekend packages for couples.) Check in on Friday night and spend the entire weekend in the hotel... dining, dancing, making love. Swim at the hotel pool. Have drinks in the cocktail lounge. Dine in its fanciest restaurant. If the hotel has entertainment, be sure and catch the show. Have breakfast served in your room at least one day. And, make love at every opportunity (there should be plenty!) Return home Sunday night completely satiated and relaxed. 134. Sneak Preview -- No hints allowed! On your way home from a party or an evening out, give your lover a preview of coming attractions. Take his hand and massage it gently. Kiss the palm, and run your tongue over and around each finger. Now take one finger in your mouth and suck it. Roll it around your tongue. Repeat with the other fingers. Move your attention to his ear. Circle it with your tongue, then gently insert your tongue in the ear and move it in and out softly. Breathe in against his wet ear (don't blow in it). Return to his fingers, then back to his ear. Alternate this until you arrive home. He will most likely take the lead from there. 135. The Kiss -- Like a virgin! Your lady is tired tonight and not in the mood for complicated sex. This is a great time to enjoy sex in its simplest form: The Kiss. Tell her that you don't want to make love, but that you just want to kiss and hold her. Then do just that. Explore all possibilities of the kiss. Alternate gentle, no-tongue kisses with deep, probing French kisses. Run your tongue over her lips and bite her lower lip gently. Kiss her eyelids, her cheeks, her forehead, and return to her lips. Kissing is a pure way of saying: "I love you and want you just as you are". 136. A bed of Roses -- an Orgy for the senses. Say it with roses... but not in the usual way. Buy several dozen roses. While your lady is in the bath, scatter the petals over the sheets. When she comes from her bath, lay her down in the bed of roses and make love amid the heady fragrance. 137. Creme de la Creme -- A beauty treatment! During lovemaking, when you are close to orgasm, put your penis between her breasts. Hold her breasts snugly around your penis as you thrust. Come on her breasts, then massage your semen into her skin. (Semen is said to be good for the skin!) 138. Hawaii 5-0 -- it's a ringer! Tell your lover you have a surprise for him and send him to take a shower. Then take the fresh pineapple, which you've cut into rings, with whipped cream to the bedroom. When your lover comes out of the shower, have him lie on his back and close his eyes. Perform fellatio to make him erect. Then spread the whipped cream on his penis and slip the pineapple rings over it. Now, eat your dessert. 139. Table for Two -- Somewhere, a place for us. Make love on the dining room table. Start with her on top, then switch. The cool surface on your back and buttocks will give you interesting new sensations! 140. Culture Shock -- Expand your horizons. What does your lady like that you don't particularly enjoy? The ballet? The opera? The symphony or theater? Punk rock? Surprise her with tickets to a special performance. Get the best seats in the house. Make a date with her for the evening but don't tell her where you're going until you get there. Relax and try to enjoy it. Then take her for a late supper afterwards. 141. The Sporting Life -- try it, you'll like it! What does he like that you don't? Football? Baseball? Boxing? Surprise him with tickets to a major event -- the Super Bowl, the World Series, a championship boxing match, or perhaps just to watch his favorite teams. Make arrangements for transportation and/or a tailgate picnic. Take a couple of friends with you. If you don't actually enjoy the game, you'll surely enjoy his pleasure from your gift. 142. Bi Bi Birdy -- You'll never believe what is in store for you. No, of course he's not gay... but reading or fantasizing about gay sex often turns on a man. Carry this idea one step further by introducing a second "cock" for this Interlude. Put a rubber dildo under your pillow. During foreplay, when you're kissing him passionately, produce the dildo and pull back from him for a moment. Then start licking and sucking the dildo, slowly, tantalizingly. Then, with the dildo still in your mouth, bring your lips close to his so that he is kissing you while you're sucking the dildo. Slowly, very slowly, move the dildo gradually from your mouth to his. Let him lick it at first, along with you. Then, if he seems to be getting into the action, let him take the whole thing in his mouth, as you continue to kiss him and lick the dildo. Now, straddle him and ease his hardness into you, as you both continue to suck the dildo and kiss each other. If he gives himself over to the sensations, he'll come quite quickly... and so will you. 143. The Popcorn Connection -- Here's lookin' at you, kid! Rent a Bogart/Bacall movie. Pop some popcorn. Put on robes or pajamas and curl up in bed to watch a classic. Have a box of tissues at hand if the movie happens to be Casablanca! 144. Out to Lunch -- Guess! Invite your lady to lunch. Have her meet you at your office or pick her up at hers, after you've ordered sandwiches and wine from the deli! Take her to the park and eat lunch on a park bench. Feed the pigeons. Go for a leisurely stroll and feel the cares of the day drop away. 145. Strawberry Sundae -- MMMMMMmmmmm Good! Tell your lover you're having dessert in bed tonight. You shower first, and while he is showering, take a bowl of strawberries and a bowl of whipped cream to the bedroom. Lie in the middle of your bed. Then spoon the whipped cream over your breasts and navel. Arrange the strawberries in the cream (you've destemmed and sliced the strawberries earlier so that they have a flat side). Now wait for your lover to discover his strawberries and cream. After he eats dessert, take the remaining whipped cream and spread it over his penis. Eat one strawberry at a time, followed by a lick of his creamcovered handle. When all the straw- berries are gone, finish off the cream... and him! 146. Shower Power -- Standing Room Only! Take a hot shower together. Soap each other thoroughly and wash each other's hair. Now rinse off all the soap. With the shower still running, she takes him in her mouth and performs fellatio until he is hard. Make love standing under the running water. She can wrap her legs around his waist, or you can do it standing up, depending on each other's height and weight. 147. Shopping Spree -- The Pursuit of Happiness! Most women won't go into a sex shop alone. But she'll probably go with you. Take her into the nicest sex shop you can find and browse. Examine all the sexual aids the store has to offer and buy those that interest you. Then, go home and try them out. 148. Playmate Portfolio -- Candid Camera! Create a portfolio of yourself for your lover. If you have a trusted photographer friend, enlist his or her help. If not, set up a camera with a selftimer on a tripod and take your own photograph. Take dozens of nude and semi-nude shots in various sexy poses (use Playboy or Penthouse for a guide). Choose a dozen or so of the best shots and have them enlarged. Arrange the photos in a beautiful album. Try putting sexy or funny captions on the photos, or following Playboy's or Penthouse's format, write cutlines describing yourself and your attitudes about sex. Give it to your lover as a special present. 149. HotLips -- The Lips of Love. Your lady's labia are the lips of love. Give them special attention tonight. Kiss her inner thighs and tease her labia with your tongue and fingers. Then, paint her love lips with bright red lipstick. Show her your handiwork with a hand-held mirror. As you enter her, watch her red-hot lips close around you. 150. Madam's Menu -- May I take your order, please? Prepare a "menu" of all the sexual pleasures you will offer your lover for the evening, complete with prices. Dress up like a hooker -- garterbelt and mesh hose (no panties), stiletto heels, short slit satin skirt, see-through blouse with no bra. Put on lots of make-up and a wig. Then tell him that he must order his evening's pleasures from the menu. (By all means, take the money -- and use it for your next surprise Interlude!) 151. Fantasy Sandwich -- Where's the Beef? Almost every man has a fantasy of making love to two women at once. Indulge his by introducing an imaginary playmate the next time you make love. Whisper to your lover all the things your playmate is doing to him (and to you!). Let your imagination run wild, use your sexiest voice, and describe everything in graphic detail. Do this only when you're ready for him to climax because he won't last long with this kind of verbal stimulation. 152. Raindrops Keep Falling on My Head! -- and everywhere else! Wait for a warm summer evening when it is just misting rain. Take an air mattress to the backyard (assuming you have a high fence for privacy) and seduce your lover in the rain. 153. Barbershop -- A shave and a haircut! You'll need your lady's consent for this one, but if a bare, little-girl pussy turns you on, ask her if you can shave her pubic area. Take a bath together first, then clip her pubic hair very short with scissors. Next, lather her pussy with shaving cream and shave her very, very carefully. Rub her down with lotion or oil, including her newly shaved pussy. Then lick her to orgasm before you enter her. 154. Jungle Fever -- You Tarzan, Me Jane! Buy your lover a leopard jockstrap and yourself a leopard or leather sarong (you can buy such things at most costume shops). Ask him to model it for you while you change into your sarong. Then let jungle fever take you over for the evening. 155. Strip Poker -- No Bluffing! Get a deck of cards and play poker. With each hand the loser must take off one piece of clothing and perform some minor sexual act of the winner's choice. The first to lose all must do exactly as the winner orders! 156. Mata Hari -- Look for the lady in the trench coat! The next time your lover comes home from a business trip, pick him up at the airport in a rented limousine. Take a silver or crystal cooler filled with ice and champagne. Take crystal champagne glasses (not plastic ones. and maybe some caviar. Ask the driver to wait at the entrance for you and to open the champagne when he sees you at the door. Wear a trenchcoat and boots and nothing else. Sip champagne and "play" all the way home... and be prepared to be ravaged when you get there. 157. Topsy-turvy -- He's head over heals! Give your lover a different sensation tonight. Have him lie on his back on the bed with his head and upper torso hanging over the edge of the bed. You may want to place a floor pillow next to the bed for his head. Now mount him and ride him to a roaring climax in this inverted position. 158. Calendar Boy -- Beefcake Bonanza! Surprise your lady with a beefcake calendar... of YOU! Take several dozens of photographs of yourself in a variety of sexy poses -- nude or in sexy costumes -- and have 12 of the best shots enlarged to fit a purchased photo calendar. Glue your photos over the calendar's photos. Voila! Your very own beefcake calendar... a gift she'll treasure forever. (These selfportraits can be made easily by mount- ing a camera on a tripod and focusing it on your setting). 159. Morning Magic -- A great way to start the day! Make this morning very special for your lady... serve her breakfast in bed. Let her sleep while you prepare breakfast; then wake her with a kiss and a glass of champagne. When she finishes breakfast, offer yourself as dessert. 160. A place in the country -- A Little R&R! Wherever you live, there is probably a romantic country inn within driving distance. (Refer to Country Inns of America by Peter Andrew for a description of the best country inns in the U.S.) Plan a week or a weekend trip to one of them. Explore the town and countryside; dine at the Inn's romantic restaurant, and enjoy the rest and relaxation that only the country can give! 161. Treasure Hunt -- Everybody wins! Send your lady on a treasure hunt. Buy several erotic gifts to hide throughout the house -- vibrators, sexual toys, scented body oil, sexy lingerie. Give her a written clue in a gift-wrapped box which directs her to the first gift. The first gift should then have a written clue to direct her to the second gift, and so on. The last gift should contain instructions on what you have in mind for the evening, using all the gifts she has found. It's your show! (It is fun to also include a hint in each gift of what the next gift is all about. Be creative -- and you'll both enjoy the hunt!) 162. Baby-Doll -- She wants to be babied tonight. Your lady wants to be babied tonight, without having to reciprocate. That's okay -- your turn will come. Draw a bath for her and bring her favorite drink to sip while she is relax- ing. Light candles in the bedroom and turn down the bed. When she is finish- ed with her bath, dry her off and have her lie down while you rub lotion on her body. Use her vibrator to give her a quick but satisfying orgasm. Then, blow out the candles and let her sleep like a baby. 163. Body Work -- She doesn't have to lift a finger! Your lady is tired and has little interest in active sex... but she'd still like it. This is your opportunity to give. You're going to treat her to a total massage. While she is showering, heat some body oil and spread a large towel on the bed to protect the linens. Then start the massage with her shoulders and neck and back muscles, kneading them firmly with your oiled hands. Spend most of your attention here, where tension and stress gather. Then, turn her over and massage her arms, hands, legs and feet. When she is almost asleep, gently massage her breasts and stomach, arousing her slowly, as you make your way down to her pussy. Perform cunnilingus to bring her to orgasm. Then let her drift off to sleep. 164. The Merge, a NUTO couple -- Share the happy, peaceful experience. Many describe the intense phase of N2O as nearly orgasmic, so it is common to want to share the experience. One rather romantic method is described as follows. Obtain a few canisters of whipped cream charger. You will also need a puncturing device, sold wherever Creamer Chargers are sold. Usually you can find both at drug culture shops that sell pipes, bongs, Zig-Zag papers and other paraphernalia. Take a canister and release it's contents of N2O into a balloon. Now both he and she should exhale entirely, but not so much that you fell like your lungs are going to collapse. She should then inhale the entire contents of the balloon or as much as her lungs will comfortably hold. He should then take her in an open mouthed kiss while she holds the nuto in her lungs. When she grows tired of holding her breath she should signal him by gently squeezing his shoulder. She then slowly releases the nuto from her lungs while he inhales the nuto from her mouth. The couple should then begin a normal breathing pattern with one exhaling nuto while the other inhales it. You may need to refresh the nuto once in a while. How long you keep passing the nuto back and forth is up to you, but I suggest that you break for oxygen just often enough to prevent severe brain damage. Also you might want to think twice if your partner has any sort of respiratory infection. 165. LONG winter nights -- topical anaesthetics can make it last longer. This is an easy and fun trick that reduces the sensitivity of mucous membranes (This includes the penis and vaginal area). The result of this is that what have been a disappointing five minute ride can be turned into a passion filled marathon of sexual intensity that lasts the night. One of the easiest topical anaesthetics to obtain is Benzocaine 5% USP. It is a skin desensitizer used in female leg waxing kits (available at your supermarket). It is also likely that your can ask your pharmacists for it over the counter. Apply the topical cream liberally to yourself and to your partner. It will also act as a lubricant. The initial effects may seem noticeable yet weak. The loss of sensitivity will become more pronounced after about five to ten minutes at which time the effects may even be startling your first time. Not to worry, the effects are not permanent; sensitivity will return faster than it left as soon as the Benzocaine is washed off. Note, the security of condoms and other barrier contraceptive devices has not been tested in contact with this product. --