"She's out by the water." It was one of Donna's friends telling me. I recognized
her but didn't remember her name. The girl directed me to the door out to the
back yard and I left.

Well I was glad to leave: everyone in the family room had been paired off in
couples--they were ignoring me, but I had trouble ignoring what they were doing.
It was awfully dark in the back yard--I think they had the lights out on purpose.
Some of them had been a bit undressed, and in some cases, it wasn't just couples!

Well I walked carefully back from the house toward the water. I wondered whether
I would be intruding on Donna. And someone. Well, what else could I do? I'd had
her car and I had to either pick her up or one of us would have to walk home. My
eyes slowly adjusted to the light of the stars as I came nearer to the water's
side. I saw a couple, sitting, looking out over the water, and wondered if it
were Donna.

So should I accost every couple until I find her? How do I end up in these
situations? FInally, I just moved close-by, waiting to hear something. I stood by
a tree, but they just sat there, not saying anything. I should whisper Donna's
name loud enough that they could hear it.

Well I didn't. I finally sat quietly, leaning against the tree, near the water.
It *was* a very beautiful night--Craig and I ought to be sitting out here. But
Craig had a long way to go before we'd do something like this. I ended up just
sitting there, actually enjoying the peace.

"I think I see her." It was a low voice from the couple. I was almost sure it was
Donna. "Yes, that's definitely her," continued the female. And ironically, with
that I became certain she was Donna. I didn't know who she was there with. She'd
gone off to this party with some of her high-school friends who I assume she
hadn't seen all the while she was off at college. Well, they certainly seemed to
be, um, casual about their relationships here.

"What's she doing?" came a male voice, also just above a whisper.

"She's kissing him," answered Donna.

"*Really*?" He definitely sounded surprised.

"Yes, she is. They're *definitely* going at it."

Well the guy responded with a quiet little laugh. "She's old enough to be his
*mother*."

"Not quite *that* old."

"Well, if she had'm young. I can't believe she's doing this. Do you think she's
drunk?"

"No, I don't think so. She didn't seem it."

"But who would have ever guessed it. She's definitely married, isn't she?"

"I think she's got a couple of kids."

"How'd you all get her to come anyway?"

"Oh, we had to work on her--we told her she *deserved* a break."

"Well, I have to admit, that after a couple of drinks, she certainly seems to fit
right in! What're they doing now?"

"Oh god!"

"What!"

"She's kneeling in front of him!"

Well, the guy didn't answer. I wondered why. Then I heard Donna go on: "She's
*doing* it!"

"What!"

"Oh yes, she is: she's sucking him off!"

"I've got to see!" I heard movement. Then I heard his voice again: "I don't
believe it." The response was a low female giggle. "My God, she was his teacher
just two years ago!"

Well, I sat there, stunned. A teacher from *our* high school? One who would act
like that? "She is *really* into it!" continued the guy. I could hear awe in his
voice.

Then there was silence. But I could just see them staring. I didn't know who the
guy was, but I had the image in mind. Finally I heard Donna: "Do you think
*you'd* like that?"

A little laugh. "You mean *her*?"

"No! Uh, what *do* you think of her."

"Oh, she's pretty good. But no *you*."

"Let's try something," I heard Donna say. Then there was movement, and a little
giggle. For some reason, I didn't want to hear this and I quietly stood up and
walked away. I looked back at the water under the starlight, and thought again
about me and Craig, then I turned back for the house.

On the way, I realized that things were likely to be just as embarrassing in the
family room I had just come through. I stood a moment at the back door, wondering
what to do, but finally entered. I'd have to wait a bit for Donna.

Fortunately, things seemed a little less hot--a bunch of people were sitting
around talking, though there was one couple in the corner who seemed to be
oblivious to everyone else. And I heard giggles from upstairs.

"Did you find Donna?" asked the girl I'd talked to before.

"I didn't want to disturb her," I answered and the girl giggled. They seemed
willing to have me sit in with them. I sat in a chair in the corner, figuring I'd
just keep my mouth shut. They offered me a beer, but I turned it down. Then they
went back to their talking.

Well I just sat there, listening to their sometimes-inane comments, when finally
the back door opened. I looked up to see if it were Donna returning. It was one
of my teachers, Ms. Keys!

I kind-of sank back into the corner, feeling suddenly panicky that she might see
me. I couldn't believe that it was her, coming in like that with that college
guy! She looked kind of giggly--I'd *never* seen her like that!

Someone gave them beers and after a swallow, they locked in embrace right there.
So far, I didn't have to worry about her seeing me: I wasn't in any sort of
conspicuous position, and she seemed focused on the others. And the guy, and the
beer.

I continued to watch from the corner of the room. I couldn't keep my eyes off
her! She drank beer and joked with them. And she and the guy were all over each
other: they'd stop and kiss for a second right in front of the others. And she
kissed another guy the same way! Finally a few of them went upstairs in a group.

I wondered about it. Who knows how wild things were up there, or maybe they were
just talking and joking around. I wanted to know what was happening, but I wasn't
going to follow them! What if she saw me?

After she left, the ones who stayed in the room started talking about her: "I
can't believe she came--how'd Adrienne and Donna convince her?" "I don't know, I
guess her husband was out and she came on a lark." "Who would have believed the
way she's acting?" And it went on.

And on. I sat there, waiting for Donna. And for Ms. Keys to come down again.

It still seemed impossible to me the way she was acting.

She came down. She was back in the room, holding onto the wall. Once again, I
shrank back into the corner though it was probably more mental than physical.
"Where's that boy I was with?" she asked.

"Wasn't he up there with you?" asked one of the girls.

"He left. I think." I realized she looked a little unsteady. "He was, uh, *real
nice*, but *you* look nice too." She was smiling at one of the other guys! "I
should call Sheryl. I want that boy again."

"Maybe you should sit down a minute."

"OK." She sat down on an ottoman. "Sheryl should be here. And I should get Bibi
to come. Where's the phone?" It struck me that Sheryl was Mrs. Wood's name--one
of the other teachers at school! I didn't know about any teacher named Bibi, but
there could be one.

"Are you ready to go home, Ms. Keys?" one of the girls asked her, and it was
obvious that she thought Ms. Keys should do just that. Ms. Keys just looked at
her. I couldn't tell if she were confused, or angry or what. "Why don't we get
someone to drive you home?"

"I'm OK."

"Trust me, won't you?" and the girl pulled on her arm to get her to stand, then
stood there, holding her, steadying her. "Someone will drive you." She was
looking around the room.

"You could drive her, couldn't you?" It was the girl next to me, talking to me!
"It'll only be a minute--Donna won't mind."

"Uh, I'd better not..." I didn't want to do it.

"Come on, we'll get her out to your car." And she stood up and started talking to
the other girl. The waved me to come after them and started walking with Ms. Keys
out the front! I followed. How did I get into this?

There I was, driving, Ms. Keys sitting next to me. It was dark in the car. She
had no idea. I glanced over at her to discover her staring at me. "Thank you for
driving me home," she said.

Well maybe she was drunk, but I wasn't so sure. She *definitely* shouldn't be
driving, but beyond that, I didn't know. I was hoping it was dark enough she
wouldn't recognize me. "What's your name?" she asked.

"Uh, never mind..." I mumbled. Then we were stopped for a light.

"You're a pretty little thing. Kiss me."

"No!" I sort of yelped. I kept my head turned as much away from her as I could in
a natural way. She leaned over until her lips were at my ear.

"Let's have some *fun*. You like girls, don't you?"

My heart was beating so fast. This was *Ms. Keys* sitting next to me. She had
sucked off a guy at the party! She was coming on to me!

I *liked* Ms. Keys. I always had--I wished she'd see me more in class even though
I do have a tendency to stay out of the center of things. I'd certainly never
though of *this*, but at that moment I thought about it. "Do I *know* you?" she
suddenly asked.

"No!" I said again, almost in a panic. We were there on her block, I was sure.
"Which is your house?" I asked. And she started looking, finally pointing it out
to me. I left her off and watched her walk up to the front door and enter, then
drove off, relieved.

Well this time Donna was ready to go. "So, you drove Ms. Keys home," she said as
we drove off.

"Yes."

"Boy, wasn't *she* something! Was she drunk?"

"A bit. I think."

"Did she say much?"

"Uh, no! Nothing!"

Donna giggled, but then said nothing. She drove in silence for a while. Then she
said: "OK, what did she say."

"I said: nothing."

"And that's what made you so shaky. Come on, I've got to know."

I thought about it. Donna can be pretty persistent, and I do trust her. "You
won't believe me," I finally said.

"Try me."

"Uh, she came on to me."

Once again, Donna didn't say anything for a while. Then she said: "What did she
do?"

"She wanted to kiss me. She didn't know who I was."

"How do you know?"

"I don't think she did."

"Did you?"

"Did I what?"

"Kiss her."

Well that caught *me* short and it was a second before I answered. "No!"

"Why not?"

"Donna!"

"I'll bet you wanted to. She probably won't remember much of this."

And I caught myself thinking about it: I could have kissed Ms. Keys and probably
she would have forgotten about it. Then I sort-of caught myself and tried to
salvage the conversation with Donna. "Of course not!"

"You think I don't know you're bisexual? Thinking about the girls? And your
female teachers?" I felt my heart sink. I could see that she was convinced, that
I'd never be able to lie to her about it in any way that would change her mind. I
just sat there, wondering where this would all lead. Finally Donna spoke again:
"Listen, don't worry about it. But you've probably lost the only chance you'll
get with *that* one."

Ms. Keys. Donna was probably exactly right: never in a million years would I get
another chance with *her*. Except, of course, in my daydreams.

* * *

I put the paper down, my eyes still fixed on it. Nothing. I forced myself to look
up at Mrs. Skye. She was sitting there, staring at me. "Well, what did you
think?"

"Uh... nice, the way you touched on the plot points, revealing the situation
bit-by-bit, though you might be including too many of the narrator's thoughts: we
don't really want to know *everything*" I looked down at the paper again. "In
fact, it vaguely reminded me of some particular writer: I'll probably think of
his name in a minute." I was shaking. I couldn't believe I'd actually gotten
myself to read it right to Mrs. Skye. Even though she'd finally responded, I
still wasn't sure how this was going.

How had I convinced myself to do this?! Naturally, I had a different story that
I'd written to read to the class. But when I'd ended up making up the class alone
with Mrs. Skye, I, well I must have gone momentarily insane or something,
convincing myself to read this one instead.

"It *is* quite good. But it *was* distracting that you started so many paragraphs
with the word 'well'. Oh, nd strictly speaking, it doesn't mean someone's
bisexual if they simply feel an *attraction* to members of their own gender.
*Everyone* has thoughts like *that*, you know."

"Oh," was my brilliant reply. I forced myself to look up at her again. She still
just sat there, in one of the student desks. It occurred to me that she had
basically admitted that *she* sometimes felt an attraction to women! It was still
hard to face her and I kept glancing down, despite myself.

Well, I had been crazy enough to *read* this story: I knew I had to push on-- it
was much too late to save myself from humiliation: "But what did you think of the
*content*?"

There: I'd said it. I steadied my gaze, looking at her. It was difficult, but I
didn't back down.

She giggled very briefly. "I think..." she started, then paused. I could already
tell that she was still being a teacher, talking to her student. "I think that
*you* had better keep in mind what would happen if teachers and students didn't
have *rules* about keeping their distance!" And suddenly I was staring down at my
paper again. My mind was still racing and my heart was beating. "And if you
continue to write like that, I think you'll eventually bring uncounted readers
*untold* frustration."