Tending Bar

Oscar took a seat on the barstool beside me, facing the
empty room, elbows behind him on the bar.  He had just
locked the door behind the last customer to leave.

I took another sip of my coffee.  "That last asshole was a
real pain in the ass," I said.

"How's that?"

"Didn't mince words.  He just came right out and asked me to
fuck him."

"Aw, you get that every night, don't you?"

"They're not usually so blunt."

"How'd you know he was blunt?  Did he pull it out and show
it to you?"

I had to giggle.  I put a hand on Oscar's shoulder.  "You
know what I mean, silly."

He sighed.  "Too bad," he said.  "Well, at least he tipped
well."

"Showing off," I said.  "Did you hear what he said about the
barstool?"

"What was that?"

"He claimed he could bend me over the barstool and fuck me.
Said my legs and high heels were just right, that I could
just lean over the barstool a little and he would fuck me
from behind.  He said nobody would even be able to tell."

Oscar turned his head and looked me up and down.  "I think
he's right," he said.

"You can't tell," I replied.  "I'm sitting down.  You're
guessing."

"So?  Stand up."

I did.  I faced the barstool.  I had to admit, it hit me in
just the right place in front.  I could just bend over
and...  "Well," I said, "people would still notice."

"Nah.  People don't pay attention to what's going on around
them.  If you didn't bend too far over, nobody'd know.
They'd just think you were leaning forward to pick up a
drink from the bar."

"Oh, come on, Oscar."

"I'm right!  Here, let me get behind you, and you just lean
over a little.  There, see?  I'm pressing my crotch right up
against you."

"You still couldn't do it.  What about my panties?"

"No big deal.  I'd just pull them aside, like this."

"Watch the fingers, buster."

"Sorry.  But you do see what I mean, don't you?"

"You couldn't get it in me that way."

"Here, I'll prove it.  Give me a sec...  Ok, here I go."

"Oscar!"

"I told you, didn't I?  He was right.  You're just the right
height.  The way the place was crowded tonight, nobody would
even notice he had his dick stuck in you this way."

"Oscar, take it out.  What do you think you're doing?"

"Just proving a point, darling.  Now if he'd unbuttoned your
blouse and slipped a hand in -- right there -- nobody would
notice that either."

"Oscar, take it out, and let go of my breast this minute."

"I'll just slide out a little bit."

"Aha!" I shouted.  "You see?  You had to move your ass back.
If you're moving your ass back and forth like that,
somebody's gonna notice."

"Oh, I wouldn't do it that way," he said.  "I'd do this
instead."

"Oh shit, Oscar, that feels like somebody's squeezing one of
those blood pressure things inside me.  What are you doing?"

"Just flexing my big cock, babe.  Feels good, doesn't it?"

"Where did you learn -- Uh..."

"You're really wet in there, babe.  You know that?"

"I...  Uhnh..."

"Do I feel your little pussy twitching?  Are you trying to
squeeze my big cock with it?"

"Oscar..."

"God you've got nice tits.  This nipple just popped right
out when I pinched it."

"Oscar, do it some more.  Ooh..."

"You know, if I slide out real slowly, nobody would notice
the movement unless they were watching carefully.  I could
probably pull it out.  And push it back in.  And pull it
out, and...."

"Uhnh, Oscar?"

"Yeah baby?"

"There's nobody here."

"So?"

"So -- Well, you could slam in and out of me real hard and
nobody would notice."

"That would be because there's nobody here?"

"Precisely."

"So I could just pull back and RAM into you."

"Like that, Oscar.  Do it again.  Ooh, good.  Again.  AGAIN!
Ohshit, Oscar!"

"I can even ram you harder if I hold onto your hips, baby.
Do you want me to do that?"

"Oh, please do, Oscar.  Ram me hard.  Fuck me hard, Oscar.
Omigod, Oscar.  Oscarrrrrrrr..."

"Did you come just then, when you screamed?"

"Ogod.  Yes Oscar, I came.  Didn't you?"

"Gallons.  But I didn't scream.  If you're gonna make noise
like that, people are gonna notice.  Don't you know that?"

"I'm ever so sorry, Oscar."