Sins of the Pastor

It has been over 6 months since I have sinned. I have
been silent and kept the sin to myself, but I feel I
must tell somebody about it. Before I begin, let me
give you some background on myself. I am the pastor of
a fair sized church. I am married, and have 2
children, a boy and a girl. I am 40 years old. My
congregation consists of about 200 people. I try to
encourage a relaxed atmosphere, and thus it is a
pretty laid back church with a casual dress. About two
years ago, I started a prayer group on Wednesday
evenings in one of our church classrooms. This started
primarily for those followers who had a burning desire
to pray for our country and it's sinful ways. We had
about 15 people, some young and some old. All of them
were regulars at the church. They were the type of
people who gave their lives to the Lord and served him
daily. My wife would not attend these meetings as they
usually ran on later than she liked. I got pretty
close to these people, spiritually, and loved our
times together. One young couple who attended were
John and his wife Robyn. John was a deacon in the
church and was with me every Sunday morning helping
with the service. His wife Robyn was also quite active
and helped in the daycare. They were in their early
30's and had a son of about 4. I had always found
Robyn to be attractive, although I had never felt any
direct feelings for her. There were many attractive
women in the church, and being a man of God, I always
respected the Commandment that tells us not to covet
our neighbor's wife. 

As I think back, I can pinpoint the exact evening when
I first noticed that I was breaking this commandment.
We were closing our prayer session, and at this time
we would hold hands in a circle and thank the Lord for
giving us the opportunity to serve him and his people.
As Paul Chamblis was saying the prayer (rather long
windedly), I glanced over, and my eyes came to rest on
Robyn. She was wearing a pair of jeans and a white
T-shirt that hugged her body nicely. So nicely in fact
that I could see the full shape of her breasts, and
her nipples poking through the shirt. And I don't know
what came over me, but for the first time I wondered
what those breasts looked like sans the T-shirt. My
eyes stayed on those breasts for maybe a little too
long, and after Paul finished, I felt some guilt and
wondered whether anybody had seen me looking. Most
people kept their eyes closed while praying, so I
don't think I had anything to worry about. After the
meeting, I thought about what I had seen and felt. I
determined that the thoughts I had felt were lustful,
and I asked God's forgiveness. Throughout the rest of
the week, though, my mind would occasionally return to
Robyn's breasts and erect nipples. I would chastise
myself and try to turn to thoughts of God. 

The next Sunday at church, when I saw Robyn, however,
my thoughts became lustful again. When she came over
to talk to me before the service to give me an
announcement for the daycare, my eyes wandered down
her body of their own volition. Robyn had shoulder
length blonde hair, blue eyes, and a very pretty face.
She was maybe about 5'4 with a slim waist and nice
round hips. Her breasts were high and of a moderate
size. On this Sunday morning, she was wearing khaki
shorts and a light blue shirt. Although her nipples
were not showing on that morning, my gaze fell on her
breasts nevertheless, and I thought about what they
would feel like in my hands. 
  "...that the parents need to start making sure they
tell me ahead of time. Is that ok?"
I snapped out of my reverie and looked up at Robyn's
face. I had not heard anything she had said except the
last sentence.
 "uh, yeah, can you just go over it one more time for
me?" I stammered.
 "Are you ok, pastor?" she asked with concern in her
voice.
 "Yes, I'm sorry, uh, my mind was just on something
else. Very sorry."
 "I see," she said with a slight smirk playing at the
corners of her mouth, "is it anything you want to talk
about?"
 "Uh, no" I stammered, and felt my face getting hot,
"It's ok."
She told me the announcement again and I was sure to
listen this time. Then she smiled at me, turned and
left. She had to have noticed me looking at her. How
stupid I was. Where was my mind. Later that day I
prayed for forgiveness.

 The following Wednesday I noticed that Robyn was
acting slightly differently toward me. She came over
before the meeting and asked me how I was doing.
Although innocuous, this was something she never
normally did. Also, that smile on her face suggested
that she was still thinking about our last encounter.

 I let Paul lead the meeting (which he always
enjoyed), telling the gathered that my voice was
tired. We all sat in a circle and Robyn and John
happened to be sitting opposite me. Robyn was wearing
a blue flower print dress. During the meeting I would
glance up at her and notice her looking at me, then
she would look away or look back down at her bible. At
one point Paul had us turn to a chapter in the Bible
and read along as he read out loud. While everyone was
looking in their books, I looked over at Robyn. Her
legs were crossed. They were pretty legs, pale in
color. Quickly I looked back in my Bible. What was I
doing looking at another womans legs. I felt a pang of
guilt. And with John sitting right there next to her.
For some reason, the bible verse was not keeping my
attention. Against my deep seated conscience, I looked
up from the book and back over at Robyn's legs. There
they were still crossed with her swinging the top one
back and forth gently. I was mesmerized. Then it felt
like slow motion, she uncrossed her legs and crossed
them again with the other leg now on top. During that
time, I happened to see a glimpse of white panties.
Then, at that moment, Robyn looked up from her book
and right at me as I still had my eyes fixed on her
legs. My eyes met hers, and she smiled quickly, then
glanced over at John, and back down at her book. Had
she seen me looking at her panties, or just her legs?
I wasn't sure.

The following week, Robyn was again wearing a summery
dress. This was not too unusual, as the weather was
unbearably hot. Again, her and John sat opposite me as
I lead the meeting. I was speaking to the gathered
about the dangers that TV posed to our children. I
tried to look at everyone in the room, but for some
reason I always seemed to end up looking at Robyn, and
her dress and her legs crossed. In the back of my mind
wondering whether she would show me her panties again,
and also feeling guilty for having such thoughts. And
then, as I spoke, Robyn uncrossed her legs and sat
with them slightly apart as she paged through her
prayer book. I dared not look at her legs with all the
eyes in the room on me. Out of my vast memory of bible
verses, I came up with a verse and had my followers
turn to it in their bibles. I had Paul read it aloud.
As he read, all eyes were looking at bibles, and I
stole a glance at Robyn's legs. There they were,
slightly parted. Her white panties visible between her
soft thighs. They must have been of a satiny variety
as they were lightly creased and gave off that shine.
I couldn't take my eyes off them. My heart pounded.
Then I noticed that Robyn was not looking in her book,
but directly at me. She was looking at me as I looked
at her panties. She made no effort to close her legs.
Instead she looked around the room, and actually
opened them a little wider as she looked back at me
with her bright blue eyes. That slight smirk was
visible at the corners of her mouth again. I felt my
face get very hot and wondered if it was noticeable.
Instead of looking back at the good Book as I should
have, I looked back down to her crotch. Her luscious
thighs. Her  pretty white panties. As Paul finished
the verse, she crossed her legs and I quickly looked
away.
 
After that, it became almost a game. One which I felt
very guilty about, but was unable to stop. Robyn would
always wear a dress. And she would always make sure
that I saw her panties at least once. Her and John
also started sitting in the front row at church, and
she always made a point of letting me see her panties.
John was completely oblivious to this. Obviously it
made things difficult for me. Every week I would ask
the Lord for forgiveness for the thoughts that Satan
was putting in my head. I would resolve not to even
look at Robyn. The other thing that bothered me was
that it was apparent that she was intentionally doing
this. I prayed to the Lord to forgive her as well, and
asked him to lead her on the right path and stop her
from doing this to me. He didn't listen. 

The next Wednesday she was at the meeting without
John. He had a bad flu, apparently. As we all sat with
our eyes closed, and prayed for John's speedy
recovery, I broke my resolution. I couldn't help
myself, I opened my eyes and looked over at Robyn. On
this night she was wearing an especially short flowery
dress. She was looking at me. When she saw that she
had my attention, she glanced around the room at all
the members deep in prayer, then she slowly uncrossed
her legs, and very slowly parted them. My eyes were
fixed on her beautiful legs as she made this motion.
Since she walked in that night I had, beyond my better
reasoning, been wondering what color her pretty
panties were. At this moment I was about to find out.
God help me, what a lewd sinner I had become. Instead
of panties, I saw a patch of light brown hair and a
slit. Robyn was not wearing any panties that evening. 
As I looked up at her, she was glancing around the
room to make sure nobody else was privy to our little
interaction. While she was doing this, she parted her
legs a little further. My eyes were glued. Why was
this woman causing me to sin like this. Before Paul
finished up the prayer, Robyn crossed her legs. I
looked around the room at my devoted brethren. How
could I allow this to happen to me. I felt a certain
annoyance at Robyn for doing this to me. This feeling
was obviously tempered by my feeling right then of
incredible lust. The image of her vagina between her
open thighs played in my head as the meeting wound
down. 

At the end of our meetings I would wait until
everybody had left, and lock up the facility. Everyone
said their farewells and made their way out. Robyn
hung around until the end. 'Good' I thought. I had
decided that I was going to have a word with her. The
only way to deal with situations is head on, and I was
going to confront her and tell her that this behavior
had to stop between us. 
 "Robyn, let's talk" I said as I sat down on a chair.
She came and sat next to me. She put her hands in her
lap.
 "I've noticed that things may have been a little
different between you and I recently" I said,
gathering courage. For some reason the confrontation
had become difficult. As I sat there, I knew that she
was not wearing any underwear, and could not get my
mind off  that. I tried to think of my wife waiting at
home for me. I prayed to God for strength and
fortitude. 
 "Me too" she said in a near whisper. 
 "Robyn, it has to stop. We are both married people."
I said, maybe too harshly.
 "I know. I am so sorry, pastor." she was blushing and
would not look at me.
 "Please, call me Claude. You shouldn't apologize, I
am to blame as well. I have had... sinful thoughts..."
I trailed off.
 "You have?" she looked up at me.
 "Yes, Robyn, about you. And they are wrong. God tells
us in the Bible that we should not covet our
neighbor's wife. The truth is, you make it very hard
for me. The way you have been dressing lately..."
 "I'm sorry pastor, I mean Claude. I feel bad. I
really love John a lot, and I have been feeling very
guilty about these other feelings I have been having.
I have tried to control them, but it is hard."
Now I was curious. I shouldn't have asked but I did,
"What kind of feelings have you been having, Robyn?"
"Well... I have always felt attracted to you. I just
never thought you noticed me." I couldn't believe I
was hearing this. A married woman saying she was
attracted to me. This was a worldly thing that we
heard about, but I had never encountered it among
believers. She continued,
 "That morning I saw you looking at me..." she
stopped.
 "How was I looking at you, Robyn?"
 "You were... looking... at my body. It felt... good.
After that, that one night, you were... looking...
down there... when I crossed my legs. Oh, I feel so
bad about this. I can't believe I am saying this to
you." She was looking away now.
"Robyn, I remember that night. When I saw you in that
way, I just... I had sinful thoughts. You are a very
attractive lady, and... These feelings are wrong." I
knew they were wrong, but at that moment, after
hearing her talk about those first incidents, I felt a
deep erotic excitement, and felt the wetness of
pre-cum developing at the tip of my penis. 
"Claude, I know it's wrong, but I sometimes think
that... All you are doing is looking, and how bad can
that be. I mean it's not like we..."
"Robyn, God tells us to avoid sinful situations. And
although we have done nothing wrong physically, we
have still sinned. I think we should pray for God's
forgiveness, and discontinue these... things..." I
felt a pang of  loss. Here was this young woman
sitting next to me, and with no panties on. But it was
for the best.
"I know you are right" she said, and sighed, "this is
no way for married Christian people to act."
We sat there in silence for a minute. I looked down at
her shapely legs. I could smell her perfume. 
 "Let's pray" I said and reached out for her hand. She
placed her hand in mine. I started to pray out loud in
the usual manner. I asked the Lord to understand that
we had both had immoral thoughts. Our hands which were
joined, for some reason came to rest on Robyn's lap. I
could feel the fabric of her dress on the back of my
hand. And I could feel the warmth of her leg. I came
to a pause in my prayer. The sensation of her leg had
thrown me off. We sat silently for a time. 
 "This is so hard" I said, and let go of her hand. We
looked at each other, and sat silent for a time. 
 "Are you alright?" she asked. 
 "It's just, when I am this close to you, and touching
your leg like that, it's hard to pray."
 "Did you like touching it?" she asked. My heart
jumped. 
 "Yes..." I said, and after a pause, "but it's wrong."
 "You can touch it if you like. I don't mind." she
said, "It feels good holding hands with you, and when
you touch me..."
I couldn't help myself. I put my hand down on her leg.
I could feel it tremble slightly. 
 "Feels good." she said in a whisper. What was I
doing? I moved my hand down toward her knee, and then
slowly back toward her crotch, my hand slipping under
her dress as I did. Slowly I moved my hand up her leg.
As I did so, she parted her legs. At the moment when
my fingers felt the softness of her hair, I realized
that I had just crossed a line. I was now touching
this woman of my congregation in a forbidden way. She
was looking at me with a flushed face as she turned on
her chair to face me. 
 "Oh, Claude I have thought about you touching me in
this way so many times." I now had more comfortable
access to her privates, and moved my fingers down
until I felt her slit. I slid them down further and
felt wetness. Slippery wetness. My index finger
slipped between her warm folds. I slid it down and up
and felt her clitoris. As I did so, she let out a
gasp, and parted her legs further. I moved my finger
up and down slowly, feeling the wetness and the small
nub that was her clit.
 
Robyn moved her hand up my leg and onto my crotch. She
felt the hardness, then felt for the zipper, used her
other hand as well, and undid my zipper. All the
while, I was slowly rubbing her clit in a circular
motion. She put her hand into my zipper and felt my
boxers. She felt around until she found the opening in
the front, and grasped my very erect member. Then she
pulled it out into the open and started slowly
stroking it. 
 "We should stop" I said
 "I know" said she, as she stood up and positioned
herself over my lap. We looked at each other with lust
in our eyes. All morals had been flung from the
window. She still grasped my member as she slowly
lowered herself. I felt a warm wetness at the tip of
my penis as it made contact with her moist folds.
Then, the warmness spread down my shaft as she lowered
herself, and I slowly entered her. She came to rest on
my lap, my cock piercing her deeply. She put her arms
around my neck. Then slowly she pushed herself up and
I felt her sliding up my shaft. Then down she came
again taking all of me into her moist folds. She was
breathing quite heavily and picked up her pace, moving
up and down. Stimulating herself on my little man,
using him as a tool for her gratification. I put my
hands under her buttocks and moved her up and down
myself. The sensation was incredible. The fact that we
were sinning in the most sinful way made it that much
more exciting. Then I felt her tense up, her insides
clenching me as she started to gasp audibly. She moved
about frantically as she was taken by orgasm. I could
hold myself no longer, and I forcefully shot my load
into her womb.
 After some time, Robyn stood up, and as she did so,
our combined fluids drained onto my pants. I would
deal with that problem later.
 "We have sinned Robyn" I said, as it now hit me
fully.
 "Oh, Claude," she said breathlessly, "if that was
sinning, I want more of it."